Honor Thy Ed/Script
are looking at a field of dandelions. Slowly, a cactus rises up out of them. We then see that the cactus is balanced on Ed's head. Ed looks across the field, and the camera follows his line of sight. In the middle of the dandelion field is an old, creepy house. Ed grabs some dandelions and runs away. Ed: "I found some grass, Eddy!" Eddy: something carrotlike "Whoop-de-do, Ed." tosses the carrot away, where it lands next to a bunch of crayons. "Cheese, grated and waiting! Ready to roll, Double D?" is apparently grating crayons to make fake cheese. Edd: a paper plate "Don't rush me, Eddy." sarcastic "There's an art to folding tacos from paper plates." Ed: "¡Olé!" places the dandelions in the freshly-folded plate. Edd: "Everyone's a critic." Eddy: "Art, schmart. Everyone will buy our tacos! It's a cinch!" get a view of the full tack stand. It is called "Taco Ed's Mexican Kwseen." Edd: "Grass, paper plates, and crayon for cheese a taco does not make, Eddy." Ed: "Cheddar!" begins guzzling the fake cheese. Edd: "For goodness sake, Ed! Did that really taste like cheese?" Ed: "It's orange like cheese." Edd: "Really. So if what you're saying is true,–" picks out a blue crayon "–this blue crayon must be a blueberry pie." eats the crayon in one bite. Ed: "Tart yet crusty." Eddy: "You guys quit fooling around!" out a giant bottle "I've still got to add my brother's secret–" Edd: "Banana." holds up a yellow crayon. "Yellow is for banana. You are a banana!" takes a bite and almost immediately spits it out. Eddy holds in his laughter as he watches Edd. "Water! Water! Don't just stand there!" grabs the bottle of hot sauce and chug-a-lugs. Eddy: "But–" finishes chugging the sauce, and Eddy grabs the bottle back before pouring it on the fake tacos. "That's the first time I've seen someone guzzle my brother's Armenian secret hot sauce!" Edd: "It certainly rid me of that horrible non-toxic waxy aftertaste." Ed: a taco drenched in sauce "My mom says not to pick my belly button." Eddy: "I don't believe it. It's not working! This sauce is supposed to be a real gut-burner!" takes a lick. looks over at Edd. Edd turns red and steam billows from his ears and hat. Eddy then looks over to Ed, whose head now resembles a burnt out match. Ed: "Hi Eddy!" now see Eddy's reaction. He, like Edd, has turned red. However, his three hairs now resemble three fuses, burning down to his head. The stand explodes in flames. ---- Eds each glom down on a sprinkler. The sprinkler slams the boys back and forth repeatedly as it washes their mouths free of the spicy aftertaste. Suddenly, a cry is heard. Jimmy: "Aiieee!" Edd: "Oh dear. A shriek of terror!" Ed: "Dad's home!" ---- kids are gathered around the dandelion house. Jimmy is slumped; it seems he has fainted and is just coming to. Kevin: "What's up with Fluffy?" Jimmy: at an open window "There! In the window! A dark figure cast a shadow! Its body contorted with a hideous hairdo! Hold me!" hugs Sarah for comfort. Sarah: "Are you sure, Jimmy?" Ed: "Stand back!" grabs the duo. "Protect yourselves!" stuffs them under his shirt. "Who knows what evil lurks behind the hallowed walls in the house of the haunted!" screams. Jonny: "It's the house of the mad logger who chops down trees and hacks them into coffee tables!" screams. Rolf: "Wait! This house is owned by the provoked opera singer, who lures little boys and girls with enchanted arias!" screams, but no one hears him, as the empty jar of hot sauce has been placed over his head by Eddy. Eddy: "Grow up! It's just an empty house, geez!" Kevin: "Go check it out then! I dare ya." Eddy: "Yeah, well, maybe some other time. Ed needs me to change the newspaper under his bed." Ed: "Changed it this morning, Eddy!" looks at Ed, perturbed. Kevin: "I'll give you a jawbreaker, if you go inside the house." looks at the sparkling candy and grins. Eddy: his friends "What are we waiting for?" pushes them towards the house. Edd: scared "Eddy, don't you see through Kevin's cheap attempt to get us to go in that filthy house?" Ed: "Dandelions!" Eddy: "All we have to do is stick our foot in the door, and bingo! Jawbreaker for Eddy." sneezes, and the dandelions all disappear. The Eds approach the front door. Eddy: "Get any on ya, Ed?" peers through a window. Edd: "Do you see anything, Eddy?" Eddy: "Yeah. Dark. Lots and lots of dark." sneezes, and the resulting rebound force sends him and his friends crashing through the front door. Ed: "Dandelions, Eddy." Eddy: around "Huh?" Edd: between Ed and Eddy "Ed, could you please get off my face?" Eddy: "This house isn't haunted! It's a dump!" Ed: up "This looks like the house from I Was A Cotton Swab In Madame Tongue-Itch's Earwax Museum: The Mini-Series!" Eddy: a spooky voice from behind a row of candles "Double D!! Let me poke your brain!" laughs evilly, and Edd faints. Ed: "You scared Double D, Eddy." Eddy: "I did, didn't I! C'mon, I got an idea." ---- Nazz: worried "D'you think they're okay?" crashing is heard. Eddy: "No! Ghosts! Help! It's Got Me! Oh! No!" Kevin: "Whoa!" Eddy: "Keep it away from me! Oh no! Aah!" Jimmy: "Oh, the inhumanity!" faints. Rolf: "Pain-in-the-neck Ed-boys are goners!" get to see inside the house, where Eddy and Ed are hammering the walls and making noises. Sarah: "Someone help my idiot brother!" is in the window, being strangled. Kevin: "I take back everything I've said about the twerps!" moves closer to the center, and we see that he was actually choking himself. Kevin: "Huh?" Jonny: "Of all the lousy tricks!" Eddy: to the door "Enough torture. Let's let 'em off easily and collect our jawbr–What the?" sees a spider on the doorknob. "Hit the road!" flicks the bug off, and the doorknob comes loose, hitting the floor and rolling into a hole. Edd: distraught "Tell me that didn't happen!" Ed: "It didn't happen." Eddy: "Nothing that a little Eddy magic wouldn't fix." goes over to the door and messes with the doorknob on the other side. That knob falls off, and Eddy's finger ends up stuck in the hole. Eddy: "My finger's stuck, guys!" Ed: "Ah, good trick, Eddy. My turn!" deepens his voice. "I am the cotton swab! Release the wax, ear person!" Edd: "You're scaring me more than usual, Ed! PLEASE PULL EDDY LOOSE SO WE CAN LEAVE!" Eddy: "Careful, Ed. I bruise like a banana." Ed: "Tally-ho!" pulls back on Eddy, stretching him out. Eddy: "Harder, Ed!" steps on a loose board. It gives way, and the other end hits a music box on a table, triggering it. Eddy: "What's that?" Ed: amazement "It's the Phantom of the Earwax!" Edd: "Phantom?" hysterical "That's it, let me out, let me–" arm comes loose "–out?" potential energy is abruptly transformed to kinetic energy. In other words, Eddy's arm comes back with enough force to knock him, Ed, and Edd back a long way. They slam into a door and hurtle into a basement, screaming all the way. Kevin: the jawbreaker "Quit milking it, polter-dorks!" Rolf: "Your bamboozle has soured like Nano's denture water!" Kevin: "Bamboozle?" laughs. "Haven't heard that one!" kids all leave. The Eds continue down the stairs. The door continues its ride until it runs into a wall. The Eds end up in front of a mirror. ---- Eddy: "Oh, my aching head!" the mirror, his head is oddly shaped. Edd: to his feet "That was quite an experience." head looks odd as well. "Is it me, or do our heads look like yams?" Ed: in front of a mirror, which shows his butt as incredibly large "Big butt, so what." Edd: realizing "It's a mirror! A room full of mirrors!" Eddy: "Sweet!" Edd: "Yams. What was I thinking?" spots a book. "Look at that! A poor, defenseless book, abandoned and tossed aside, like some cheap comic! Who would do–" spots another on a flight of stairs. "Interesting. There seem to be–Ooh! Look, another one!" follows a trail up the stairs. Eddy: mirror showing his chest as large and muscled "Check this out, guys. Take a load off your eyes." Ed, a dumbwaiter comes into place, a box of Chunky Puffs inside it. Ed turns to look. Ed: "Chunky Puffs! Yum yum yum!" dives into the dumbwaiter and begins eating. The dumbwaiter goes up again almost immediately after he gets in. Eddy: "Ed? Double D? Where the heck are they?" scratches his head and notices that the doorknob holder is still stuck to his finger. "I hate you! Knob holder thing!" strains to get it off his finger. ---- Edd: to the top of the stairs "Can someone so well-read be so illiterate? I ask you. Oh, another one!" gasps. He has entered a very-well stocked library. Edd: "Rapture." ---- is still in the basement. Suddenly, the floor moves beneath his feet. Eddy: "Where's the room going? Where am I going?" rug sucks him into the base of the stairs by which they entered. "HELP! The staircase is eating me!" ---- Edd: "Books upon shelves upon walls of literature!" spots a book put in sideways. "Bohemian! Someone's really trying my patience." runs off and returns with a mobile ladder. He climbs the ladder and sets the book right. Edd: "Perfectly shelved." climbs down the ladder. As he does so, a trapdoor opens, revealing more ladder rungs. Edd: "Now, where was I?" continues to climb down, and the trapdoor shuts above him. ---- spots a piggy bank at the top of the stairs. Eddy: "Hello." with greed "Piggy bank! Money! Come to Papa!" ---- Edd: lowering himself, unaware that he's left the library "Professor Double D, Book Archivist. I like the timbre of that." ---- Eddy: his body up the stairs "Eddy, filthy rich jawbreaker tycoon. Oh yeah!" grabs the pig, which is on a lever. Eddy: "Bingo!" pulls the lever forwards, and the bottom stair lifts up, releasing him. He goes flying forward. Eddy: to reach inside "Okay, cough up the dough, you little porker." his doorpiece "For crying out loud!" hits a wall and falls, headfirst, into a barrel. His feet are all that stick out. The barrel then moves next to a trashcan. A trapdoor opens over the can, and a ladder is stuck out. Edd: climbing down "Nobel Prize winner Double D. Nice." falls into the trashcan. When he rights himself, the first thing Edd sees are Eddy's shoes. Edd: "NYAHH!" Eddy: up "What?" Ed: the two "Tsk, tsk. Do you know how long I have been waiting?" model train located under the containers blows its horn and starts to carry them away. Eddy: "Now what?" Edd: "I'm not sure I'm the right height for this ride." Ed: "Choo choo!" ---- Eds enter a dark room. Ed: "Creepy." Edd: "Enterprising." Eds go on a roller coaster ride, certain parts lit by spotlights. Eds burst through a heart. All of them are naked. Eddy: barrel now with a suit painted on it "Where'd this come from?" Edd: barrel with a muscleman's torso painted on it "MY CLOTHES! THEY'RE GONE! I'M NAKED!" Ed: sailor suit on his barrel "Barnacle!" train turns right, and takes them on a track surrounded by neon hearts. Edd: insane "It's a nightmare, I tell you." Eddy: "Is it Valentine's Day?" Ed: "Gross!" train comes upon a doll of Eddy, ironing a sock. Eddy: "Is that me?" ducks under the display. "Ironing clothes?" ducks under it as well, but Ed smashes it. Eds come upon a doll of Edd, washing dishes. Edd: "Oh, my! Look at the soap film on those dishes!" last doll to appear is one of Ed, watching TV. Ed: "Who's that good-looking guy?" Eddy: "Get some glasses, Ed." train takes a downhill turn. Eddy: "Whoa!" Edd: "Augh!" Ed: "Gravy!" train rams into a box that appears to be a giant version of the music box encountered earlier. Ed: "Is the ride over?" figures wearing veils emerge from the box's depths. Edd: "Oh dear. I fear it's just begun." figures lift their veils to reveal that they are the Kankers. The Kankers: "Here come the brides!" whistles seductively Eddy: "Kankers? Brides?" ducks down in his barrel. Edd: "The Kankers tricked us. It's a wedding, Eddy!" hides in his trashcan as well. Ed: "But I can't dance, Eddy!" canister tips over. May: some dandelions from him "Flowers for your bride? How sweet." Lee: the ceremony "Pick up your grooms and spit out your gum." sisters do as instructed. "We are gathered here today to join in marriage the Kankers and the Eds! They promise to love, honor, and obey, or we pound them." Marie: "Blah, blah, blah, quit showing off, Lee! May, get the rings." Eddy: "Rings?" May: "Whatchu got, a piano tied to your leg?" pops the tab on a can of soda. Ed: "Soda." May: "Hold still, Mr. May. With this ring I do thee wed." places the tab on his finger. Ed: "Doody?" Marie: "Where'd my pumpkin go? There you are!" the cowering Edd "Wait'll you see what I cooked you for supper!" Edd: nut on his finger "Breathtaking." Eddy: "Hah! No ring for me!" Lee: "Don't play dumb." holds up his doorpiece-clad hand. "You had your ring all along." Eddy: "Man, they're good." Lee: "I now pronounce us husband and wives!" Ed: "Do you think there will be a reception?" ---- Eds are dragging a wagon carrying the Kankers. Trashcans are tied to the back. Eddy: keeping up with Ed "Slow down, Ed!" May: "Woo hoo! We trapped us some men!" Jimmy: towards the commotion "I hear wedding bells! C'mon, everybody!" Jonny: "Plank, look!" Nazz: "Cool, where?" Kevin: the procession arrive "Check it out, it's the Dorkbusters! I'd hate to see their kids." Jonny: "Would you look at that!" Jimmy: "How romantic!" Rolf: mockingly "Save me some cake, Ed-boys!" Jimmy: rice "Good luck rice for the newlyweds! Whee!" May: "That kid's throwing stuff at us!" Lee: "Hit him with these." hands May the dandelions. Jimmy: "The bouquet! It's all mine!" flowers hit him in the face. Sarah: "Jimmy! Are you all right?" helps her friend to his feet. Jimmy: "Isn't love a many-splendored thing, Sarah?" Kankers ride off into the sunset, the iris-in closing on the wagon's rear bumper sticker "Just Maryd". Category:Season 2